


You know you're a Tuckerite when...

by HouseOfTucker_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseOfTucker_Archivist/pseuds/HouseOfTucker_Archivist
Summary: The effects of Trip Addiction are numerous, and while not always positive, they aren't so bad either. How many of these symptoms do you recognize in yourself? How many are you not admitting to?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	You know you're a Tuckerite when...

#### Your behavior begins to resemble that of Commander Tucker...

...you experience a real-life situation and think "What would Trip do?" — and you can answer it.   
...you suddenly have an urge to watch water polo matches with your buddy.   
...you see a bug, you want to stun it (or squash it with your friend's boot).   
...you are wary of any woman who claims she can read your mind   
...you _never_ stick your hands into a flower pot that's full of pebbles   
...avoiding desert-like heat, by moping and moaning like a puppy dog, no longer makes you feel like a wimp (after all, you could grow up to be Chief Engineer on a starship!

#### Your language, vocabulary and accent begin to change...

(nods to Bucky) ...the word 'focused' has acquired new meaning for you.   
...you rush to investigate any printed word beginning with "Tu..." (Tuber, Tuba, Tupperware, Tuckahoe...) and/or any word *remotely* similar in spelling (Truck, Trumpet, Trustee, Trundle bed, Truss...).   
...any word that starts with t-r-i-p (triple, trips, triplet, trippy...) immediately gets your attention   
..."Sonofabitch!" and "Damn Cap'n, she put one over on us" are part of your regular vocabulary.   
...you begin to speak with a southern accent like Trip's but neither you nor any of your family live anywhere near the Southern U.S.   
...*T/T'P* is part of your regular vocabulary   
...you accidentally call your best friend 'Trip', after he told you he was "the third with that name"   
...someone trips and falls, and instead of thinking of helping them up, you think of Trip   
...exceedingly hyperbolic phrases such as "he's brutally hot!" only scratch the surface in describing the man's appeal   
...you find you capitalize the word Trip whenever you write it.   
...classic Tripisms like "Challenge your preconceptions before they challenge you" and "It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy isn't getting any of our bourbon!" filter into your daily speech.   
...you find your self using the word "hell" a hell of a lot more often than before.   
...the name 'Tuckerite' seems neither silly nor blasphemous.   
...the slang term "I'm trippin'" now refers to you watching Trip-centric episodes. 

#### Food acquires new meaning and significance, or at least some food does...

... whenever you make dinner, it's always the same thing: catfish, prime rib, and pecan pie.   
...you develop an odd twitch whenever anyone mentions they don't care for pecan pie.   
...you eat at a restaurant that serves pie, and you automatically look to see if they have pecan. (And you order it if they do!) 

#### It begins to affect your relationships with friends and loved ones...

...your six-year-old son asks, "What's going to happen to Triple?", and you realize that the brainwa...oops, I mean 'serious research of ENT characters' has been successful.   
...your friends run away screaming every time someone unwittingly says the word "trip".   
...your S.O. thinks you are making your own personal copy of Playgirl with the amount of pix you have downloaded of bare-chested, blue-undies Trip   
...you have pictures of Trip on your desk at work, not your S.O.   
...your S.O. begins to question your sanity, even after knowing you all this time.   
...your baby who is hardly old enough to talk( and has a vocabulary of only ten words) can say "Trip" and sings along to the enterprise theme pretty darn well.   
You break up with your boyfriend because you realise you spend more time thinking / caring about Trip than about him... 

#### Who ever heard of blue underwear, I mean, really...

...your wallpaper has been modified to include many, many pictures of Skivvies!Trip   
...you can be found buying blue skivvies at your local store.   
...you make a set of blue skivvies for the cuddly teddy bear that sits on your computer monitor at work   
...you pass the underwear section in a store and wonder why there isn't any blue underwear for sale   
...you flipped through an REI catalogue and found out they sell blue skivvies. 

#### your thoughts become preoccupied with the source of the addiction...

...the word 'trip' comes up in normal conversation and you're long gone...   
...you cringe at the fact that the character was originally named 'Spike', knowing full well that "Trip" is the more quirky, fun, cocky, and therefore the only acceptable nickname.   
...you start making up positive reasons why CT is last in the credits, even when you know it's just alphabetical order.   
...you keep going to www.trip.com, hoping it won't be that same boring travel site again.   
...you find yourself wondering if CT could've done a better job than Aaron Eckhart in _Possession_ and start mentally casting CT in different roles.   
...you think the movie should have been called "Tuck **er** Everlasting".   
...you see the name "Tucker" on a paint truck, and strain to see who's driving and if he looks anything like OMT.   
...you look through your high school yearbook to see if you knew any Tuckers, Trinneers, Connors, etc.   
...reruns are NOT a problem, and are still good _even when you have the episode on tape already_.   
... you take special pride in living in the state of Washington or Florida.   
at the end of the month you cut the page off your Enterprise calendar, so Trip (Mr. March) is always "on top" 

#### your temperature rises on a regular basis...

...you think of Trip when watching your brother's lacrosse game on a hot day   
...the Trip slash that goes on in your head is far too gratuitous for any website to handle.   
...you've never met him, but you _know_ what the man smells like.   
(nods to Li) ...you rush to photocopy the same dull engineering manual. Regularly. 

#### your financial situation suffers...

...you paid good money and now belong to some movie club, just to watch "Duncan", (a short movie in which CT appears)   
...large amounts of time, money, brain cells, and/or disk space are taken up with Tripaphenalia.   
...you seriously contemplate buying a Trip action figure. And buy several. 

#### and, occasionally...

...you have a pet or child named for Trip.   
(nods to Lo Pan) ...you find yourself 12000 kilometers on the other side of the Pacific talking to like-minded enthusiasts one night in San Francisco. Or Las Vegas, if you're gort. 


End file.
